Fruit Virgin

I often proclaim to love fruit. While this statement is true, I must add that not all fruit is created equal in my mind. Give me a ripe banana or an apple and I am satisfied. While I have nothing against the taste of oranges, I rarely eat them. As an example of the embarrassingly carefree adulthood I live, I don't eat many oranges because in my mind it takes far too long to peel.

The sane reader will note that it can't conceivably take more than minute to peel an orange, while this is literally true, in my mind when I want to enjoy a piece of fruit I want to enjoy it this very second, and a minute seems like a lifetime.

The other day I was at the grocery store and had a craving for an orange and proceeded to purchase one. On the way home I mentally psyched myself for the arduous task of peeling that was in my immediate future.

Without any hyperbole I can state that it was absolutely the best orange I have tasted in my entire life. It felt as if every previous orange I had eaten had been a scam, a farce, an insult to my tastebuds. In short I sensed that I had only then tasted what an orange was meant to taste like.

Of course, when I returned to the same grocery the following day to procure more of these delicacies I was rewarded with the taste of a bland generic orange. Thank you Universe for crushing my spirit in one fell swoop.